I seriously feel that school is a waste of my time....and a reason for me to gain weight.
Taking Modules that are totally unnecessary, and when i say this, i don't mean that its useless, but that the modules that we are taking this term have overlapping syllabus which we already learnt in previous semesters.
Also....Going to lab lessons which are totally non beneficial.
Imagine attending a 3hours lab, and all you do is to read worksheets online and try to figure out how to do the work attached to it. and when you meet with some problem, the lecturer don't know how to solve it. Then you get all bored, and you decides to go down to the canteen to get some snacks, then for the rest of the lab lesson, your stuck, and ended up facebooking and nothing else.
Most tormenting term ever.!!!
Anyway, i had this interesting and weird dream earlier on in the afternoon.
I dreamt that i was watching a movie with a group of people, then suddenly, the narration of the movie started to go out of point and irrelevant, so in my dreams, i went to complain to the management of the cinema and theysolve it. But the problem happened repeatedly, like 8times, and i demanded a compensation.. i remembered clearly that i even told the person like "whats the point of me paying so much when i cannot enjoy the full luxury and story of the movie?"
And just as i was about to blow my top, i woke up.
Only to realize that the irrelevant narration from my dreams was actually from the show that was playing on the teevee, i fell asleep in the living room you see....
And it happens that my ears was still awake then. haha.
Its amazing how time flies, i still remember how hard it was for me to adapt to the new environment that i was in by oftenly(i mean... occasionally) emo-ing on my previous blog ranting on how tough poly life is and how i missed secondary school days. It took me quite some time(really long time) to get over the fact that i had to move on. Thou it was rather unwillingly, i had no choice do i?
Likewise, school is reopening in 12 hours time now, and here i am, still refusing to accept the fact that i am already in my senior year, looking back, i kind of regretted wasting my 2 years in poly away, especially when the school fees is at least 100 times more expensive then secondary.
Apart from achieving only marginal results, i also missed out quite alot on the other additional things that was going on in school, namely, camps, ccas and external projects.
You must be wondering why i am having all these regrets out of the blue, its because i was inspired by the talk by the director of IIT school during the freshman orientation camp.
I was telling the freshies how privledged there were to have the director coming down personally to respective LTs to talk to them, back then, we could see her on "TV", which was actually a video of her giving a speech.
And of course, apart from the setting of the video, i couldn't remember a single thing that she said.
Back to what she had said, she told the freshies that they have now a empty basket, and its up to them now what they want to be in that basket in 3 years time. She also mentioned about the only person to write the story of your life is you. or some sort related.
So yeah, there i was silently agreeing to what she said. Its indeed so true.....
To be continued. Writers block.
I will wack anyone who tells me again on how getting drunk and high can be so distressing and good. Stop cheating me can....I find absolutely no similarity nor likeness between my experience and this false impression. Instead, I felt terribly wasted,guilty and terrible to an extend that i promised myself, never to get drunk again in the midst of my drunkness.
I have always wanted to get drunk(Yes, because i Heard that it feels good) so, i always try to drink alot whenever there is a chance to do so, chalet, bbq, gatherings and outing. you name it. But because of my high tolerance for alcoholic drinks, i was never really close to getting drunk even thou i was always the biggest drinker among my friend.
So i smart alec lah, drank chivas shots, mixtures, vodka shots and red wine like there was no tomorrow. And there i was, acting perfectly normal and tried to send selig to the busstop. But thank God that i was stopped by PS and mich after several persuasion, because the alchohol took effects moments after he left, and thou i was sober and aware of what was happening around me, i had no control of my limps. God knows what will happen should i had see him down then.
I started to be pretty unconcious, yet sober at the same time. I went to the toilet wanting to shit. and shit happened when i was in there. i was shitting half way through, and i vomited all over the toilet floor, and good gracious, i semi-conciously tried to clear up, but knocked onto the walls several times, then i accidently broke his toilet seat, walked into the shower room of his toilet, took the shower head, wanted to wash myself up, but to no avail. Realizing that the toilet door was locked, i bearingly made it through that few torturous steps, opened the door, let ps in, and back to the shower room. and poom, i slammed onto the floor and that was it, i was totally strengthless, yet feeling helpless cos my pants was soiled with vomit. PS of course, came in only after i closed the shower room door, and there i was, pantless, strengthless and helpless. I even tried to pray to God that he will grant me strength to get out of the toilet, but i guess God's reply was that i deserve it for acting like a hero. That was when i promised, never to get drunk again.
And i slept my night, sleeping in the toilet. And in the midst of it, i kept apologizing to PS who was helping me to clear up my vomit cos i was really feeling very guilty.
Terrible hangover the next day, and realized that my handphone drowned with my pants. thank God PS's hairdryer saved its life.
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I find it really frustrating on the fact that i cannot multi-task, period.
For people who knows me when i am doing something, i won't get distracted, it will take umpless effort to try and get my attention. Be it when it comes to talking to a friend, using the com, watching the tv, doing my work, thinking and mediating or simply dazing.
And the frustrating part, when i sleep, i go into a state of deep sleep, alarms can't wake me up, it will take lots of effort for the alarm to get my attention, because i will be concentrating on sleeping then. HA.
I need to be able to multi-task for nuts, cos i am already not very efficient. And moreover, people complained that i am dao. and others are already thinking that i am not approachable.
ITS SO NOT TRUE.
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I was so boiling mad this morning, and it was really up my neck, for people who know me long enough, you should have never seen me mad before. and yes i am positive about this when i am typing this, But today, i really couldn't controlled myself, that i gave a really scary stared which i feel that its really the scariest that i had ever gave to anyone and together with it, i also raised my voice.:(
Kids are getting cleverer and more stubborn these days.
It is getting tougher. But thank God for sweet kids around. they made my day:).
And oh ya, i got to know this guy of my age today, and i tell you. He is from VJC and scored 9A1 and 1A2 for his O's and 6As for his A's. I chatted with him and realized that he is not a mugger, and the technique he taught me is, to "just understand the foundation."
He further on telling me that he had 3 ccas in school back then and never really studied.
There i was, wishing that i was half as clever, or rather, half as excelling as he did back in school.
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School is reopening on the week after next, and how time flies... i hasn't got myself a temp job. but my holiday was still, filled with things from back to back. Very taxing, but worth it.:):)
Having Orientation camp next week, but the question now still revolves around whether is my position in the camp still secured.
Otherwise, i need to sleep more for the whole of next week, and i need to meet up my friends!!!
And like any other post, i need to watch my spendings...
Most importantly, my workout, i need to stick to it,!!!
JAZZ AND PS.
"Impacting and sowing into people's life one at a time."
I realized that i whatever that we do, its not just about ME, that tells OTHERS how successful you are, its about how many OTHERS, that tells YOU, how important and impactful you have been.
Long and windy post. Good job to you if you made it this far.:)
