When night falls....

For far too long,I have taken it for granted that having positive thoughts is important and crucial.
Not that I am an extreme pessimist that I will always look on the grayer and darker side of each circumstances, neither am I suicidal, thinking of death, bloody or laugh at other people's misfortune.

But i realized, for far too long, i have been so good with making up excuses for myself which will somehow makes me justiable in front of people.
And that's what i always do, shoving appointed responsibility away from myself by coming up with 101 reasons why I shouldn't be the one selected to do the job. Or 101 reasons why am i not doing a good job.

Just like what i was telling weisiong the other day.
I asked him, "At the end of the day, what is the real reason? Many times, We can be so blinded and we are so good at coming up with coming up of excuses that can be flawless to an extend that you can deceive everyone and makes you accountable for everything. But you know it better yourself and you can't deceive God, think deeper, and ask yourself what is it? whats the real reason for not doing so? "
And what i said shook me hard too, my mind went blank that instance, and it took me long to "recover" from that revelation.
Because I was exactly a man of my words, in a very bad way.
And i too, started going deeper into the reasons that i had been giving.

I am stubborn, that's that. and bad.
And many many many times, I tend to be blinded. I will have reasons to justify myself,
But as truth surfaced, and its stood right infront of me when i read through the bible study material for children church.

"Having Positive thoughts"

And it tells a story which i have taken for granted for, about the twelve spies who were sent into the promised land to spy who their enemy was.
10 of them came back with bad reports, having little faith and having negative thoughts that they won't win against the giant and that God is sending them there to die.
But Joshua and Caleb stood in, proclaming faith and positive thoughts that "When God is for them, no one can be against them".And it ended with them slaying the giant, and Joshua and Caleb, the only 2 of the twelve to enter the promised land.

Not that i have no knowledge of this story, but somehow, this story stood right infront of me and i could instantly relate to it when Joanna was sharing with the childrens just now.

Am I going to be like the 10 other spies, who have no faith in God that He is able to do all things when He had already revealed himself to them time and time again?

Am I going to be fearful towards the "giants" in my life and give up on the "promised land"?

Am i going to let negative thoughts overcome my full potential?

Or am i going to be Joshua and Caleb to trust in God's word, and have faith and unlock my full potential and destiny that God has for me.



And that sets me thinking, there and then.

And truely, fear cripples creativity.
Because creativity is experiemental.
By proclaming that i am not creative or inadequate, that why i am not going to do this or do that is just like pouring oil into fire. Because the fire/flaws only gets bigger.


Have Faith!
For far too long.